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It occurred to me that I haven't yet explained why I decided to move to Paris. This is a question that many people have asked me, but also one that I've had the most difficult time explaining.
The truth is, I never actually went through a decision-making process in which I reasoned the pros and cons of moving. I woke up one morning and literally just decided that I wanted to move. It sounds a bit crazy, but it's how I have made complicated decisions my entire life. Let me explain.
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I finished my morning French class and joined W near his work at L'Opera for lunch. We sat down at a posh new-concept Italian restaurant with wood and metal interiors that gave the place a modern yet earthy feel. The entire exterior wall had collapsed and opened like a window, allowing in so much sunlight that it felt like we were on a terrace.
We ordered a delicious tomato mozzarella thin crust pizza and pasta salad to share, then proceeded to poke fun at eachother until the food arrived (apparently now our favorite past time, because well, being nice is just not fun). I demanded that we speak in French, and was surprised by how easily my sentences were forming. I had only been here for two weeks, yet the mentality of a permanent move has given me such enormous motivation that I jump at every opportunity to speak. Even when alone, I find myself sounding out phrases and new expressions, obsessively listening and correcting for pronunciation.
W and I parted after lunch, and I headed back to the 6th arrondisement, an area by Jardin du Luxembourg filled with beautiful 17th century architecture and boutiques. The weather had been extraordinary since my arrival, with nothing but glorious sunshine at a constant low-70s weather everyday. I had never seen Paris bathed in such warm sunlight from morning to night, with days so long that darkness would not fall until nearly 11pm. This made for wonderful outdoor dinners and festivities that lasted well into night (the music festival was just last week).
As I walked around the area window shopping, I felt oddly comfortable and at ease. For sure, language barriers led to moments of frustration and anxiety, dealing with French paperwork and processes prevented all my efforts at efficiency, and there were inevitable moments of angry ruthless comparison to other cities. But I was adapting and the city was growing on me.
It's imperative to keep an open mind, I told myself, and to understand that Paris may never offer what New York had given me, and I should never force upon it what it is not and cannot be. But if I am willing to learn, discover and love it with my heart, it is more than capable of granting me the most extraordinary experiences beyond my wildest dreams.
I officially resigned last Friday to leave at the end of April! Here are some tips about quitting that worked great for me.
The first step towards quitting your job is an acceptance and understanding that you will inevitably bring about some degree of hatred from your team, but there are a few things that you can do to at least mitigate some of it.
1. Be Honest
I've always believed in the power of honest communication. My mother once told me that disagreements are 80% of the time caused by miscommunication; and that most people have similar opinions about most things. It's likely that if you explain your decision in a sincere and genuine manner that your team would understand where you're coming from. When I told my team my story, my boss understood: "It sucks for us, but I would have done the same thing".
2. Give Enough Time
Quitting your job is one of those things where it gets exponentially worse the longer you wait. Two weeks is the typical notice period, but giving your team more time to find someone else will not only show that you care and respect your coworkers, but also allow everyone to be as prepared as possible before you leave (so they don't end up working long hours to pick up your slack - and if they do end up having to do that, are at least prepared to do so).
3. Know Your Boss
Remember breaking bad news to your parents in high school? How you would wait for them to be in a great mood before you snuggled up next to them and sandwiched bad news between words of flattery? Life doesn't change much when you get older; your bosses are humans too. Maybe take your boss out to lunch or coffee, where you can set the mood before you tell. Getting away from company grounds will allow more genuine conversation and a sit down lunch will give you time to really explain things.
4. Involve them in the Decision Making Process
In psychology, researchers found that people come together when they are working towards the same goal. If you can somehow involve your team in the decision making process of how and when you're going to leave, they will feel better and more in control over what is happening (and basically sanction your leave since they were technically, well, involved in the decision).
5. Manage Expectations and Leave Room for Negotiation
Immediately following the breaking of bad news will be a negotiation period whereby your team tries to keep you for as long as possible while you try to quit as early as you can. If you're planning on leaving in say, 8 weeks, hint at an earlier time like 4-6 weeks. That way, you have plenty of room to compromise and will even appear very willing to do so.
In conclusion: The more you're able to show your team that you care and respect them, the more likely they will also return the favor. In social psychology terms, this is the rule of social reciprocity. Seems like common sense, but many people assume that their team will never understand and that the team's intentions will most definitely always be in conflict with theirs. It doesn't have to be that way. Find out what concerns them the most about you leaving and help them solve that problem (whether it is helping hire a new person, leaving after an important project, etc.). They will be appreciative of your consideration and be more willing to see things from your perspective, and maybe even be happy for you (and genuinely so)!
Two weeks ago today, I was asked to check each school's website for admissions decisions. This reminded me of college decisions back in high school (actually 5 years ago exactly this time) when I had all 15+ school websites booked marked on my browser to facilitate the rapid refreshing of contents at a exponentially increasing rate as we approached the end of March. This time, I only had two schools (which was actually more intimidating given the odds), and there was a specific time of release (11 AM EST on 3/5), so thank the lord, I only started refreshing at 10:50 AM EST at a steady rate of 6 times per minute.
For 5 minutes, nothing happened. Then at 10:56 AM, the link for ESCP Europe suddenly appeared. There was a list. A very long list pf names and ID numbers. I control F'ed my name. No results. I control F'ed my name again. No results. I control F'ed variations of my name, my Chinese name, my middle name, my last name, still NO RESULTS. This was not possible, I thought to myself. Out of the two schools, I was confident I would at least get into ESCP...if I didn't get into ESCP...well, then HEC would be impossible.
For 5 minutes, my mind went racing. What happened at the interview? Why? Why did they not accept me?? I prepared myself for the worst. "I'm so sorry bebe", my boyfriend texted through Facebook.
HEC's website went live at exactly 11 AM. I was shaking when I signed on to type in my name and birth date. I was still in a state of shock. I almost didn't want to know the answer...
"Congratulations. You are admitted to HEC Paris."
That's all it said. I had to read it over five times, and didn't actually believe what I was seeing until I received an official email 10 minutes later.
I couldn't believe it.
I WAS GOING TO PARIS.
Last Friday, I interviewed at New York's Alliance Francaise (French Language Institute) for my Masters in Management programs at HEC Paris and ESCP Europe (through the admissions council SAI).
I would consider myself a pretty seasoned interviewer with a pretty good track record (including a $1300 interview I flew half way across the world for). I'm generally good at first impressions and relatively good at expressing myself (well, at least under pressure - I ironically have trouble formulating sentences in daily conversation, probably because my brain thinks faster than my mouth can speak). Anyway, despite two whole hours of preparation (which is a lot for me because I don't like to sound scripted), I was not so pleasantly surprised by some of the most thoughtful (read: hardest) interview questions I had ever been asked in my life. Wait what? Let me write a research paper on this before I provide you my one-paragraph conclusion. But seriously, we were discussing topics that would make hour-long conversations.
Granted, HEC Paris is the #1 business school in Europe, and the Masters in Management also happens to be their flagship program. I did not expect the interview to be easy, but what struck me was how with just a few targeted questions, I was having a deep, thought-provoking conversation about my career path and how I could realize those aspirations. Instead of scripted responses to the equally scripted questions I was used to being asked, I was being pushed to think creatively and intelligently about my background, my strengths, and how this program could benefit my career.
Three French interviewers, one young self-identified strategy consultant, an older man in his 40s who was probably too accomplished to talk humbly about his profession, and an African American man who gave me the vibe of working in the Fashion industry, sat across the table from me in a very small room. The first question was easy enough - tell us about yourself. This was a no brainer. I gave a positive, concise, but also detailed overview of my academic background, interest, and future plans, weaving in a few facts about the schools and how they would contribute to my career plans.
The next question asked me to describe a consulting job on my resume and what I learned from it. This was posed by the strategy consultant who at the end, seemed pleased with my answer - my conclusion being that as a consultant, you can't expect to make monumental challenges in one day. It's all about small impact, little bits at a time, and hoping that something you said or did will shape management's decision moving forward in some positive way.
Then came the first challenge - stemming from my somewhat ambiguous career aspirations. I was asked, rather pointedly, if I could elaborate on the specific goals I had after graduation. At this point, I was conflicted about answering truthfully (that I had narrowed my choices down to three career paths) or telling them what they wanted to hear: a well-defined plan in a specific area. I hesitated and told them the truth -the whole truth. I said I made the mistake in undergraduate school to focus on one career path, only to find that it was not meant for me (namely, banking). I realized from this experience that I am far from a well-informed decision about my final career destination, but I do have three very specific career paths that I hope to explore in graduate school: luxury marketing given my background in psychology/consumer behavior and fluency in Chinese, strategy consulting given my current and past work experiences, and finally tech startups given my startup project and interests in technology. I told them I was still exploring and keeping my options open, but in a focused and disciplined way. This was surprisingly well-received. But then I got my two worst questions.
Imagine that I am the director of L'Oreal, the middle-aged man, who very well could have been a director at L'Oreal, said to me, sell yourself to me. I had never had to pretend to sell myself in an interview where I was already pretending to sell myself. My brain got confused and they had to cut me off.
Then came another question about a subject I had no actual knowledge about - Tell me how I would sell luxury French wine to the Asian markets in a way that would stand out from other international brands. My heart dropped because I knew nothing about the luxury french wine industry. I somehow miraculously spew out something about playing the French exclusivity / limited-supply card to differentiate itself from the American mass consumer / volume-driven sales strategies. The interviewers, though not elated, seemed content with this response. It was a bull shit answer, but at least a well-constructed bull shit answer, my boyfriend later told me.
At the very end, I was asked to speak some French "off the record". This was rather easy since I got to pick the very basic sentences and say them perfectly. I got some nodding frowns ("not bad"), and then was just as quickly escorted out as I was escorted in.
How did I think I did? I honestly have no idea. All I can say is I tried my best, and I can only hope that they liked who I am.
Results come out next week! So I'll keep you updated.
until next time,
XOXO
"So you're moving to Paris for your boyfriend." At least half of my friends have made this statement after I shared news of moving abroad, and then eagerly waited for me to respond "yes" before they continued on in their creatively discrete ways, how it would never be a good idea to move to a foreign country for a boy.
"Don't worry, that would be the surest way to destroy our relationship." I would respond. And I meant every word. I had already seen it unfold in my mind when I considered the twenty thousand possible events that could happen after I moved,..
Possible Event #1: Arriving with the unrealistic expectation that everything would be perfect if only we were together, my dream is immediately shattered upon our first little (inevitable) argument. Unable to process such a giant disappointment, my thoughts race to the fact that I had left my whole life behind for him (because I didn't have or pursue anything else in Paris), and a boiling anger begins to form within me. We probably make up this first time and forget about it. But as time goes by, we sometimes argue again, and every time, instead of believing that he has the best intentions, I can only think of the fact that I had given up everything for him, and for him to act in any negative way angered me beyond comprehension. I begin to resent him. At the same time, because I find it difficult to meet new friends and have no goals or aspirations in Paris outside our relationship, I start to revolve my life around him. We become exclusive. All the time. Life simply ceased to exist for me outside of him. Then, one day, because we couldn't sustain a life with just each other (and no friends or goals in life), because the constant anger and disappointment I felt from extraordinarily high expectations finally took its toll, and because with no life beyond him, I saw to him to cater to all my needs...it all exploded in my face. In spectacular fashion.
That's probably an extreme scenario, but some version of that is likely to happen if I had moved to Paris just for him. Healthy relationships should be nurturing, each person adding something positive to the other person's life, not limiting or detracting from the other's experiences. Moving to another country for the sole reason of being with someone else is the surest way to take away experiences from their life, because you inadvertently demand that their life revolves around catering to your needs.
So I gave myself the Control Test.Technically, I would want to imagine a situation without that variable altogether. But given the fact that I don't really trust myself to ignore the boyfriend factor completely, I gave myself the Worst Scenario Test instead. If my boyfriend and I broke up one month after I moved to Paris, what would I do?
If the answer was a resounding, I will still be happy to live my life in Paris to the fullest, I had passed the test. If not, then it was time to rethink my decisions for moving there.
I woke up this morning to very exciting news: I had been invited to interviews at both HEC Paris and ESCP Europe for their Masters in Management programs!!! I am now in the admissible stage, meaning my resume, transcripts, and GRE/GMAT scores have met their requirements. The interview at the end of February is the last stage to ensure I am the right fit for their program.
Moving to Paris just got a whole lot more real, so I decided to take a closer look at pursuing an MiM in lieu of an MBA.
THE OVERVIEW
A Master in Management (MiM) is a two-year business school curriculum very similar to the Master in Business Administration (MBA). They are both graduate level degrees for students from any discipline wishing to study business management. However, they are critically different in the following ways.
1. WORK EXPERIENCE. The MiM is for students with little to no work experience, while MBA students have worked at least 3-5 years. This means that MiM students are in their early 20s while MBA students are older. From a recruitment perspective, MiM students are really just beginning their careers while MBA students are most likely changing and/or developing their careers.
2. COST -$$$. An MBA costs 2x as much as an MiM (50-60,000 USD/year vs. 20-45,000 USD/year - tuition only).
3. REPUTATION. The MBA is the "default" business degree in the US, while the MiM is more popular in Europe. This means US recruiters may need to be educated about a European MiM degree. That being said, the MBA has been forming at many institutions in Europe (for the last few decades) while US has also begun to develop MiM programs as well (more recently). For example, Duke as well as MIT have developed a similar MiM programs, and Harvard has created the 2+2 Program to meet the demands of students who want to attend business school at a younger age. Business school will continue to evolve to fit the current educational landscape, and it would not be surprising to see the MiM become increasingly popular in the future.
4. CURRICULUM. The MiM is a Master of Science degree while the MBA is (as the name implies) a Business Administration degree. This means an MiM may focus more on theory while an MBA will focus more on practice. That being said, many students say there is no real difference in the curriculum, and MiM programs invest heavily in student internship and job prospects after graduation as do MBA programs.
5. SALARY +$$$. The MBA graduate will earn more than the MiM graduate. In 2012, the average HEC Paris MiM graduate salary was 90,000 USD (65,700 Euros) while the average Harvard MBA graduate salary was 120,000 USD. But this difference makes sense when you take into consideration that the MBA graduate is on average 4 years older than the MiM graduate (27 vs. 23) with significantly more work experience.
Average Age: 23
Nationalities: 37
Median GMAT: 710
Female: 47%, Male: 53%
Avg. Salary: USD 90,000
HARVARD BUSINESS SCHOOL PROFILE (2013)
Average Age: 27
Nationalities: 60
Median GMAT: 730
Female: 41%, Male: 59%
Avg. Salary: USD 120,000
CHOOSING
In my opinion, getting an MiM or MBA will depend on each person's situation. For me, an MiM is a 1) low cost way to 2) get business school out of the way at a younger age while 3) becoming fluent in a third language and 4) getting international study and work experience.
Other advantages for me include:
5) I plan on having kids in my mid-to-late 20s and do not want to be in school at the same time.
6) I personally prefer a more theoretical/academic curriculum over a more "practical" one because I feel the material may be more thorough.
But at the end of the day in business, it is not what kind of degree you have that matters, but what you make of those opportunities.
Both the MiM and MBA are graduate/advanced business degrees. Both offer tremendous learning and networking opportunities. While some recruiters may prefer seasoned MBA candidates with lots of work experience (while others prefer younger professionals who are cheaper and easier to mold), it is the individual who will have the most impact on his or her job prospects depending on the opportunities he or she seeks out, the people he or she meets, and the effort and attitude he or she puts forth towards advancing their career.
Just like college, business school is not the be all end all, but rather a training ground that teaches one how to effectively think and operate in the ever changing world of business.
Further Reading:
http://www.ft.com/intl/cms/s/2/f250ac28-00ae-11e2-9dfc-00144feabdc0.html#axzz2roKSCr
Dear Jennifer,
This is me in your past. Right now, I am preparing for our move to France. I want to write to you about some things to keep in mind when we're there. Perhaps it will be of use to you now.
1. Life will never be wholly good or wholly bad. You can either waste time complaining about what is going wrong or channel your energy into what is going right.
2. Keep speaking French. Living in a foreign country is hard, and it's easy to give up and slip back into English. Don't fall for this trap. You have been granted an opportunity not many people get to have. Take every chance to practice the language. It will only get easier as time passes and will only make life in Paris more enjoyable.
3. Learn as much as you can in school. This is the only time when you will not be forced to do work unrelated to your interests. Go to every lecture (there surely has to be something interesting otherwise you wouldn't have signed up for the class), engage your classmates in discussions, ask your professors questions you wouldn't be able to find in textbooks, and seek out every opportunity to learn anything and everything that interests you. Be a sponge and soak up every ounce of information. You never know where and when it could be of use. Besides, it's only through learning can you figure out where your talents and passions lie and how you can leverage your strengths to actively participate in the world.
4. Be forgiving. Shit will happen and people will disappoint you. But that is life. Don't punish yourself with others' mistakes. That's just stupid.
5. You, and only you, are in charge of your life. You are responsible for the decisions you make and the consequences that come about. Shit happening aside, you have the power to change the course of your life depending how you live it. Every decision you make is a choice, and it may be a choice you will have to live with for the rest of your life.
THAT said, enjoy yourself. This is your 20s after all. Live, laugh, and don't be afraid to fall. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose.
XOXO
your former self
This week, I finally finished my applications to business schools in Paris!
Louvre December 2013. Paris is a wonderful city to studying in!
While there's really only one type of business graduate school (the MBA) in the States, there are many different options available for business graduate students in Paris (and in Europe).
I applied to HEC Paris and ESCP Europe for their Masters in Management programs, which is similar in curriculum to the MBA, but is different in that 1) while work experience is encouraged, it is not required (YAY!) 2) MIM is very common in Europe/Paris, as most top business school students complete a Masters degree immediately after their bachelors, while the MBA is more common in the States after students work for some time.*
But wait - I'm going to studying in Paris? Do I speak French?!?!? Oh la la! Well, the good news about many business school programs is that they are actually taught in English (it will explicitly say that on the website)! This is because business is very international, so students come from all over Europe and the world. Many of Paris programs will, however, require French fluency upon graduation AND they will offer you classes to accomplish that! Amazing right?!
The SAI**
I only submitted one application to a portal called the SAI (similar to the Common App), which allows you to complete one application for five schools (YAY!).
The SAI requires:
I will be hearing back for interviews in just a few weeks! Then interviews in late February and decisions in March!!!!!
What if I don't get in?
Well good news is that there are several application sessions throughout the year, so even if I don't get in in March, I can still apply to other programs in April and even June!
Why Europe?
To this day, I'm still amazed by how few American students decide to study in Europe. And I don't mean just studying abroad! Not only is the cost significantly lower than American schools, but it's also a great way to get international experience, meet people from around the world, challenge yourself to become fluent in another language, and differentiate yourself in the workplace in the future (everyone has studied abroad, but how many have actually WORKED there?)
OKAY, that's it for now! I'll be back in a month or two to share with you my results! STAY TUNED! :D
until next time ;)
XOXO
*There are also one-year specialized masters, the MBA, as well as a whole series of different kinds of programs you can apply to! The options are limitless! Just do your research ahead of time.
**The SAI process is only for international students who have studied 3+ years at an undergraduate institution outside of France. French candidates must apply through EMAT or CAD.